I wish all dreams came true

The Saint. I cannot for the life of me help but to think of him.
I never used to dream of him but now I've had 2 dreams in the course of 3 days. What the heck? And yet I STILL cannot form words around him, I mean other than hey.
In the first dream he needed a picture that I had for a project. And the girl he was dating "Stacey" wanted to take a "break" and he was kind of heart broken, and trying so very hard not to cry. I gave him my number, it was a productive dream.
Then LAST night it was snowing, and I asked, no I begged him to roll in the snow with me to make a REAL snowman! And he didnt really want to, and so I said "Please, if you dont Dan will, PLEASE" He laughed at me and said that he needed to eat. So then everyone was hanging out outside of the cafeteria and girls were flirting with him and I walked by and he grabbed my hand, and wouldnt let go.
See, I dont need MUCH, its the little things, the simple things that I fall for.
And every year, I go back to that FIRST Transy game that I went to. That game where there was this awesome point guard. I couldnt believe the passion that he had for the game, that is what I fell for, it only helps that he, for the most part, seems to be a good guy. And his family, I LOVE his grandparents! And his dad, who probably thinks I'm a little silly.
I want to get either OVER this or DO something about it, but my voice doesnt work around him, and I dont know what is possible. But a girl can dream, right?!

Woodwork, in response

We care because we are human. We want to be recognized but at the same time we want to be invisible. Or at least thats how I feel, and I think sometimes you might feel the same way.
As for the girls on his page, things like that are depressing, but there is one thing that I can almost guarantee that you have and those girls dont- SUBSTANCE. It might not seem like it, but eventually we all want some sort of substance, well, unless we are creepy people who want to control the world and with the exception of our roommates maybe, I think most of the people we are around will eventually want substance.
I understand, I get it, it sucks. And yet it is life, and it will go on.
I mean you have seen me when the Saint says hi, its the highlight of my MONTH! But honestly its those first "hi"'s and "hey"'s and things like that, which WE might see as awkward, but eventually they will be less thrilling, less heart consuming, and maybe, hopefully, real conversations will come.
I replay that "whats up Jess" over and over and over. And honestly what I realize the more I play it, is maybe he doesnt think I'm creepy- I know that everyone tells me that I am not, but I still have that insecurity- maybe he sees me as a person, sure maybe sometimes an overzealous fan, but a person nonetheless. And hopefully with my new found involvement with the team and other things, maybe, hopefully by the end of the year I might be able to have an ACTUAL conversation with him. I mean why didnt I answer the "whats up" part of his greeting? Because he said "Jess" and that trumped EVERYTHING else. My mind went blank except for the flashing of "Jess"!
Bottom line, though we see the rest of the world, the smaller, better looking girls of the world with these guys that we are so hung up on, it doesnt mean that we are out of the game. We just have to learn to assert ourselves. To not run away, and maybe the sun will shine on us!
So, heres to hoping for the sun to come out, tomorrow! HAHA. :) Hang in there, we will make it.